


Worthy

by Auty_Ren



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Insecurity, Mentions of canonical violence, Sad, Smut, Smut and Fluff, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Yearning, not explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:22:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25292347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Auty_Ren/pseuds/Auty_Ren
Summary: Paz would do anything to make sure your safe, even if it meant breaking your heart.
Relationships: Paz Vizla & Reader, Paz Vizla/Original Character(s), Paz Vizla/Reader, Paz Vizla/You, The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 73





	Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> This is slight canon divergence for the sake of plot but not too much. It gets pretty HEAVY in the middle but we have a happy ending! I can’t write anything sad without some form of redemption. I just love Paz so much, he’s so big and cocky but once he lets his guard down he’s just a big ole softy in my eyes. Enjoy💕
> 
> Come say hi on my Tumblr: auty-ren

You had been dreaming of seeing him again for weeks. 

Your heart ached for him in a way you hadn’t known was possible, yearning for the armored Mandalorian who had stolen your heart, wanting nothing more than for him to be in your arms. It was supposed to be a happy reunion, just like every other time he had come to find you.  
But something had changed.

He was hesitant, his arms wrapping around you to pull you closer to him as he just held you against him, breathing you in like it would be the last time he’d ever touch you.

Little did you know.

“Paz,” you prompted him, your cheek resting on his shoulder.

He didn’t answer you, whether by choice or because he hadn’t heard you didn’t know, what you did know was that every second he held onto you was like agony as you waiting to get some response from him. Your mind reeled with possibilities could’ve made him react so abnormally, in all the time you knew Paz, there wasn’t much that could break his confidence, it scared you to think of anything that could shake him so badly. It was like he was dazed, his mind living in a moment separate from your own as he ignored you again. He was completely stoic, any emotion he felt hiding away behind the blank stare of his beskar helmet. 

It was so unlike him.

You wanted to tear it from his head, but you wouldn’t dare, you knew how important it was to him. His creed, the very foundation his life revolved around, it was too sacred. But it wouldn’t stop you from longing to know him, in the most intimate form his people knew of. Fantasies of him evaded your thoughts late at night, bringing comfort as you lull yourself to sleep, trying your best to forget any hardship you faced when you woke. 

You had seen just the smallest hints of what he looked like underneath all his armor. You felt almost shameful at the way your eyes lingered on the deep brown skin of his wrist that had been exposed. At the time he had laughed at your staring, finding it cute in the way your face burned hot with embarrassment. But you had never forgotten that moment, you had tucked the memory away, remembering it when you tried your best to imagine what he looked like. You dreamt of touching his bare skin, of running your fingers over the broad expanse of his chest and feeling the warmth of his body under your fingertips. 

His eyes had become your favorite indulgence, you imagined them to be intense and demanding but soft around the edges, just as you knew him to be. He was the most impressive man you had ever met, his presence could send people running in fear of the proud warrior he had proven himself to be, but you knew him differently. He was kind, and warm, and had a heart bigger than anyone had given him credit for. Of course, his personality could be overwhelming, his ego had gotten him into more trouble and fights than you could count. But he had taken care of you, shown you how gentle he could be, something you had never expected from him. His guard finally had fallen away and he allowed himself to be true with you, no longer burdened with the proverbial weight he had been carrying for so long.

And you were certain you loved him for it.

You had never spoken it, you had never felt the need to. But as he stood silent, holding you against him as if his life depended upon it, you only wanted to confess it to him, convince him to leave the burden of his life at the door and let you care for him the way he always did you. That was truly all you ever wanted from the Mandalorian, to have him be yours, to surround yourself in his entire being, and fall into the loving embrace you craved more and more every day. You had sensed the same from him, the time you spent together had grown into something that sparked a fire between the two of you. Although he never said it, you knew he cared, that he could be the one thing you depended upon in the entire galaxy. 

But before you could utter a syllable he pulled away, his arms dropping from your body unceremoniously as he looked down at you, still silent. You offered him a small smile, grabbing his leather-clad hand and turning to lead him into your little hut, hoping he would tell you whatever thoughts plagued his mind.

“Cyar’ika,” he whispered your nickname, he sounded almost scared as he pulled his hand from yours.

“I cannot stay.”

“You just got here,” you stepped closer and he retreated, trying his best to maintain what little distance he had placed between the two of you. “Where are you going?”

“It doesn’t matter, I cannot stay.”

He was trying to be firm, you could tell from the tone of his voice, you almost laughed at the thought, him trying to order you around like one of his counterparts. You reached out for him again, his arm tensing up as he jerked away from you. It suddenly became very serious, your face dropping at the way he reacted so coldly to your touch. You’ll never forget how broken you felt as he uttered his next words.

“I’m never coming back, Cyar’ika.”

You were falling apart, your heart shattering into a million different pieces as you came to the realization. You feel the panic rising, crawling from the pit of your stomach, and squeezing at your throat as you stared at him. It couldn’t be true, you wouldn’t dare entertain the thought any longer than the fleeting seconds it crossed your mind. You wouldn’t imagine a Galaxy so brutal as to give you such a beautiful gift, happiness that was so few and far in between, only for it to be a trick that played out so cruelly.

How could you think he loves you?

Your stomach twisted into knots, the thought of never seeing him again weighing heavy in your chest, making it harder to breathe. He turned as if he was moving to walk away from you, to leave you a blubbering mess as you tried to understand why he was even doing this in the first place.

“I love you.” You panicked, the words pouring from your trembling lip before you could rationalize any other response.

“You were foolish to have done such a thing.”

You felt rage, a fit of deep anger that settled in your bones and threatened to burn you up from the inside out. He dismissed you, his head turning to look past you as if you were nothing to him. This was not the Paz you knew, it was as if something else possessed him at that moment, forcing him to admit things he didn’t truly feel. There was more to his story, he was hiding it from you but you were determined to find it out.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love me.”

His helmet jerked back towards you, his body stood straighter like he was surprised by your challenge. No matter how convincing he thought he was, you knew he wasn’t looking directly at you, you felt the absence of his gaze.

He was scared of something.

“Don’t be childish.” He scolded you, but there was a twinge of something that laced his voice, a dangerous amount of doubt in his own words.

“Look at me.” You demanded, your voice shaky as you tried to stand your ground. He just shook his head, already dead-set of whatever reasoning he had convinced himself to believe.

“I don’t deserve to be loved, not by you.” 

Your heart shattered at the way his voice cracked, his modulator doing nothing to mask the agony you were certain he was feeling. 

“That’s not true.” You felt the tears stinging in your eyes, fat droplets running down your face as you struggled to fight the storm of emotions settling in your chest.

“How would you know what I deserve?” He snapped at you, his voice was much angrier than any tone he had ever directed towards you. He noticed you recoil slightly away from him, and it broke him. He took a few careful steps, wanting to reach out and brush away any sadness that you felt, until he stood directly in front of you. His shoulders sagged in defeat, the sight of your tear-stained face being enough to make him sick. His head lowered, the cool beskar of his helmet brushing against your forehead as he breathed deeply, letting out a shaky exhale at his next sentence.

“You don’t understand Cyar’ika,” His voice became dangerously low, the words barely audible through the static of his modulator.

“What kind of man am I if I cannot provide for you? Protect you? Give you the life I know such a beautiful woman deserves? If I were to stay with you, it would only end in your death and I would never forgive myself if that happened.”

He cradled your face in his hands, the worn leather of his gloves warm against your cheek. Your eyes slipped closed, relishing in the feeling of him as your own hands came up to hold his.

“Being with me, it will only put a target on your back, and I won’t let that happen, Cyar’ika.”

Your eyes shot open, your eyes knitting together in determination as you breathed your next words.

“You would protect me, I know it.”

“What if I couldn’t?”

“I doubt there’s much you can’t handle.”

He sighed in amusement, the faintest remnants of a chuckle resonating in his chest. You could practically imagine the grin you knew he wore under his helmet. He pulled away from you slightly, his hands dropping from your face as he stood to his full height again.

“You’re far too stubborn.”

“I learned that from you.” You quipped at him, your eyes scanning over him as you noticed the fresh dents that littered his armor.

He didn’t resist you when you reached out this time, your hands running down the side of his arms until you laced your fingers with his, giving him a gentle squeeze as you prodded him further.

“What happened?”

These feelings didn’t stem from boredom, that much was evident in how persistent he was. Something had rocked him to his very core, you were hesitant to learn of the nightmares he faced during a mission, but this weighed too heavy on his heart for him to bear it alone. You sensed his hesitation, the same worry passing through his mind as he debated sharing such details with you, in the end, he knew it was better to confess them to you.

“A member of my covert needed our help, he needed protection for himself and his little one from the bounty hunters on Nevarro.”

You nodded slowly, remembering the stories Paz had told you of his home, how the planet had been overtaken by hunters looking for work from the guild liaison who resided there. He had always sounded so angry when he spoke of it, fuming at the reality that he and his fellow Mandos had to hide away because of the scum that littered the surface.

“Imperials showed up not long after they had escaped.”

He squeezed your fingers, his grip firm but careful not to hurt. You felt dread pool in the pit of your stomach, as the pieces finally connected. 

“They slaughtered us, I barely escape with my life, Cyar’ika.”

He was so broken, you had never seen him in such a way and you ached to try and comfort him. He had witnessed the unimaginable, and you could never understand the pain he felt over the loss of his people. But you would be there, you would never leave his side again if you had anything to say about it.

“I’m so sorry, Paz.”

Your hands drifted to the cheek of his helmet, your palms spreading across the dull blue paint as you held him in your hands. He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you flush against his chest as he leaned into you.

“I knew I had to survive for you, the thought of seeing you again kept me fighting.” He confessed. “I had to make sure you were safe, I have to protect you, Cyar’ika, please don’t fight me on this.”

There was no way you would let him go so easily.

“No.” You shook your head. “I’m not afraid, Paz. You’ll always protect me, I know you will.”

His visor was dangerously close to your face, you could almost hear the unfiltered sound of his breath rising and falling in his chest. You couldn’t read a single thing that passed through his mind, the gentle prod of his fingers up and down your back being the only movement he made.

“I love you.”

He whispered them to you, delicate and warm as they hit your ears. You felt like the air had been knocked from your lungs, your eyes stinging with fresh tears as you pressed a kiss to the mouth of his visor. He chuckled at the gesture, your heart filling with the melodic sound, as you continued to stare at the helmeted warrior who had stolen your heart, his words echoing in your mind. 

I love you

-

“I love you.”

He repeated those words every chance he had, those three little words becoming a prayer he sang as he carried you into your home, his hands grasping at you like you were his lifeline. He repeated them as he slipped layer after layer of his armor away, tugging at your clothes with calloused hands and an eagerness that had you giggling. He reassured you with them, his voice firm and confident as he pressed your fingers into the cool steel of his helmet, permitting you to remove his most precious guard from his body.

“You have no idea what you do to me,” He mouthed around a kiss, he cradled your face in both of his hands, bringing you closer to his greedy lips.

“I never stop thinking about you anytime we're apart, Mesh’la.”

You pulled away for a moment, looking into the deep irises that stared back at you. He was beautiful, everything you had imagined him to be paled in comparison to the actual sight of him. His face split into a grin, you knew would become his signature, his eyebrow quirking as he teased you.

“What’s on your mind, pretty girl?”

“Take me with you.”

He was shocked, to say the least, but it faded away as quickly as it had come. He hugged you tighter to his chest, his hand coming up to thread through your hair.

“To your home, I want to live with you there.” You continued, running your hands up and down his bare chest. “I want to help you.”

He had confessed that his visit would still be short-lived, that he needed to return to his people and help them rebuild. Your heart was torn, aching to have him stay with you for as long as possible, and also knowing he belonged with his tribe. You had entertained the idea of going with him a long time ago, right around the time you had realized you loved him. But it had always left you feeling foolish like it wasn’t right to dream of such things. Now that he was here, open and trusting you with his most sacred secret, you knew you couldn’t watch him leave again. Your place was beside him, always, and wanted to be there with him more than anything.

He buried his head into your neck, murmuring adoration into your skin as he leaned you to lay on your back, his body enveloping yours as he settled on top of you. 

“What have I ever done to deserve you?”

He rolled his hips into yours, the both of you keening as the friction sparked flames of arousal throughout your bodies. You ground yourself to him in vain, digging your nails into the flesh of his back as the piston of his hips threatened to send you flying. Neither of you wasted any time, finding a rhythm that was quick and satisfied the growing need that consumed both of you. 

You were reeling, fighting back moans as you grind your hips against him, finally able to relieve the pressure that had been building at the mere thought of your Mandalorian. You had longed for him, to have him break you open only to be rebuilt with his gentle caress. No concocted scenario could compare to the feeling of him splitting you open, your walls fluttering as he pushed into you over and over. You nearly screamed as he bumped against your most sensitive spot, your teeth latching onto the skin of his shoulder to muffle the sounds spilling from your mouth. He held your existence in the palm of his hand, your certain that your body and soul would implode if it wasn't for his body pushing you further and further into the blankets beneath you. You rode the waves of pleasure that pulsed through you, a whimper the only response you could muster as fell apart beneath him. He spoke in a language you didn't understand, the words faint behind the rush of blood that filled your ears. He filled you, your bodies growing sticky with the evidence as his body grew stiff above you, a low moan rumbling from his lips.

“Cyar’ika.”

He trailed kisses up the length of your jaw, he chased your lips with a tender kiss that left you tingly as he pulled away. He brushed away some of the hair that fell into your face, his forehead resting against yours in a show of affection.

“My beloved.”


End file.
